Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Thursday, September 15, 2016
Divorce Checklist
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| Divorce Checklist |
In my decade long experience handling family dispute cases
one very important thing I learnt doing is to assist my clients plan and
prepare well before filing the divorce lawsuit.
Every case is unique and has its own merits and challenges,
though many a people try to generalize as a spouse conflict or in-laws problem
or financial etc… the reality is every individual goes thru a lot of pain
emotionally … physically … spiritually … the circumstances are unique and very
different, each experience of pain one goes thru cannot be generalized or
categorized. Husband / Wife does not simply give up, its only after putting in
all possible efforts one takes a very bold step for separation.
While on the death
bed of relationship one decides on the divorce, the mind is gone totally
blank, he/she is in just give up state, many a times depressed and does not
know what to do... more often than not the women simply walk out of their
husbands home… the situation worsens when the couple who decide for divorce
have children, or financial commitments, debts etc…
Here is a comprehensive checklist I’ve prepared for my
readers to assist with if you are considering a separation / divorce; refer
this checklist only if you are unable to save the relationship:
1. Type of Divorce
a. Mutual
Consent : Both of you amicably agree and want to file for divorce
b. Contested
: Only one person in the relationship wants a divorce
c. Judicial
Separation: a de facto separation while you
remaining legally married
2. Reason for Divorce
a. Abuse and Domestic Violence
b. Unfulfilled
Career aspirations
c. Spouse
in a different relationship (Adultery / Bigamy etc…)
d. Living
separately / Desertion
e. Presumption
of death (spouse no longer traceable)
f.
Mentally ill spouse / unsound mind /
Schizophrenia
g. Venereal
diseases or life threatening contagious physically incurable disease
h. Change
in religion
i.
Not a law abiding citizen, criminal, a cruel person who can
harm you
j.
Non consummation of marriage / Impotent
spouse
k. Sexual
abuse or spouse forces you into unnatural sex
3. Children (Child Custody)
a. Custody
of the child (if child is less than
5 years the custody will be with mother)
b. Visitation
rights to the other parent
c. What
happens if the child and divorced spouse leave the country
d. How
will the other divorced parent visit the child if in another country
e. Who
will take care of the educational expenses of the child
f.
Will the child live with grandparents of the
divorced spouse
g. How
will the child be treated (if stepfather / stepmother situation is involved)
h. Will
the grandparents of the other party (divorced spouse) have visitation rights
i.
How should I prepare my child to accept
parents being separated / divorced
j.
Have you thought of a detailed child custody
plan and documented
k. Have
you made a list of points you wish to negotiate with your spouse w.r.t children
l.
Are all the documents / certificates / Govt.
Ids / Bank Details etc… in your custody
m. Do
you feel, your spouse can emotionally bribe your children for custody
n. Are
you planning to relocate with your child, in that case prepare a relocation
plan
o. Have
you considered other pros and cons with respect to child custody
p. In
case you want to remarry, would you continue keeping the child with you
4. Finances / Money matters
a. Do
you have the list of assets prepared and points of division of assets
i. Home / Land and other real estate
ii.
Bank Accounts Savings / FDs / RDs (Physical and
Digital Access details)
iii.
Insurance Policies
iv.
Mutual Funds / Stocks / Shares and Bonds
v.
Debts Payable and current status of loans if any
vi.
Documents you have signed as Joint Authority
vii.
Vehicles (Cars / Two Wheelers / etc…)
viii.
Debts related to Credit Cards / Overdrafts etc…
ix.
Will / Trust / or any other inheritance
x.
Jewellery and other precious metals etc…
b. Has
your spouse borrowed money from someone on your behalf
c. Have
you signed any document as a guarantor
d. Are
you on board as a director or carry financial commitment to the business
e. What
liabilities do you carry in case of SIPs and other monthly investments
f. What liability do you carry towards monthly
loans and other recurring debts
g. What
is the alimony amount you have in mind if you want to settle the matter
h. Have
you prepared a draft letter to be sent to all financial authorities for stop
payment or for any term / condition that applies (Banks, Insurance, Stock
Brokers, Real Estate etc…)
5. Documentation Readiness : To apply for
divorce the following documents are required
a. Address
Proof (Passport, Driving Licence, Rent Agreement, Adhar Card etc…)
b. ID
Proof (Pan Card, Passport, Adhar Card)
c. Age
Proof (10th Std. Marks Card, Passport)
d. Marriage
Certificate
e. 4
Passport Size Photographs
f. 1 Marriage Photograph (Exchanging garlands
or any marriage ceremony photo)
g. Verifying
Affidavit
h. Divorce
Petition Document
i. Memorandum of understanding (document your settlement agreement)
j. Lawyer Nomination and Application
k. Other
Document copies as attachments (Will / G-POA etc…)
l. Previous complaints / Case Documents / Applications
/ Counselling outcomes etc…
m. Salary
certificates ( this is handy for maintenance, 1/3rd of salary is
usually claimed)
n. If
working – Get the details of company and previous working companies
o. In
case of evidence : make a note of witnesses who can stand by you
p. In
case of abuse / violence : Doctor and Medical certificates
q. In
case you have used detective services, carry proofs photographs videos etc…
r. Address details of Parents and Key Relatives
(Optional)
6. Lawyer
(Very important – How to choose a lawyer to fight your case)
a. Word
of mouth – check with people you know and their experience
b. Internet
– read the reviews of a lawyer, his/her work, knowledge thru blogs etc..
c. Consult
at least three lawyers and then select the best you are comfortable with
d. Independent
lawyer or a firm
i.
If Independent lawyer he/she will know all
details of your case
ii.
If a firm there may be multiple lawyers who may
work on your case
e. Check
if the same lawyer can represent both in case of mutual consent
f. Discuss the fees upfront (Lump sum / Per Appearance
/ %age etc…)
g. Check
the frequency of discussion with your lawyer (Phone / Skype / Chat / F2F)
7. Other Important Things:
a. Know
your strengths and weakness
b. Know
the strengths and weakness of your spouse
c. Prepare
for the worst on how to face character assassination and other false
allegations if your spouse tags you with
d. Make
a list of all things you have done and tell them openly to your advocate
i. Verbal or Physical abuse while Quarrelling
ii. Threat emails / sms etc…
iii. Emotional Blackmail or threat to commit suicide
iv.
Parental abuse
v. Dowry demands etc…
vi. Immoral acts, pre / post extra marital relations
vii. any other item of interest you wish to discuss
e. Make
a list of people who may stand by you in case of witness required
f. Ensure you have a medical / fitness
certificate (Physically and Mentally fit)
g. Inform
your lawyer if you are dating or plan to marry immediately after divorce
h. Work
with your lawyer and document the points to talk in the court
i. Mentally prepare yourself with the cross
examination points
j. Ensure your witnesses are prepared well who
will testify you
k. Remember
the golden rule – TALK LESS and LISTEN
MORE
This list is general for most of
the divorces cases, nonetheless we belong to various cultures, ethnicity, religions,
countries, castes and so depending of your type of marriage there will be
variation. These are only few guidelines; an expert lawyer will carry
additional requirements and guide you when you talk with him/her. You may wish
to share your views with me writing into lawyersonia@gmail.com
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