What should you do after you are scammed, defrauded, conned, tricked or cheated. ?

 

The Sinking feeling you experience cannot be explained by words, you may blame yourself, you may cry,  you may feel helpless, your trust is broken and its simply difficult for someone to let go, it takes a lot of time to heal. Nonetheless you should definite fallback on the legal mechanism in the country. The instruments of law enforcement are such which will surely ensure the guilty is punished for the act of cheating and fraud.

The intention of this blog is to educate you on the do’s and don’ts after being cheated, it can be a relationship or a business transaction or an internet scam, there are ways to handle them.

Let’s classify the ways to deal with in two parallel categories.

1.       Emotional

2.       Legal

 

How to deal EMOTIONALLY when you are a victim of a Scam, Fraud, Cheating ?

1.  Don’t Feel Helpless and stop blaming yourself : The first suggestion I give to my clients is to stop blaming yourself, don’t allow you to be judged by someone who does not know the situation you have gone through.

Victim blaming its quite a natural and common phenomenon, when you discuss with your near ones too, they get into blame game. You need to be tough, many at times people take harsh steps of committing suicide when they get cheated in a relationship, or lose money or are conned in some way where their self-respect is lost.

 

2.    Give yourself time but stop living in the Past : Grief is a normal human response, its ok to feel sad, depressed and absolutely normal for you to go through the turmoil from days to weeks and sometimes even months depending on the loss you suffered.

Also know that the scammers who loot you are professionals and sometimes operate as a team, thinking too much about the past will impact your health. What’s happened may be bad, but see this as a learning lesson and move on, the future is in your hands and you alone can shape it.

 

3.   Talk to someone : Talk with your friends or someone you trust, find a counsellor who understands and empathizes with you, talk to a legal advisor and gather advice on how to tackle the issues legally. Talk to someone who can laugh with you and not laugh at you.

Sometimes just venting out helps you feel relaxed, many a client of mine spend time with me talking out their issues and challenges, they need a patient listener who can not only listen without judging but also guide them.

On the flip side not talking and keeping things to yourself may be fatal, I have seen people who don’t express and keep things to themselves no only suffer health challenges but also tend to develop suicidal tendencies, they also face a lot of relationship challenges.

 

How to deal LEGALLY when you are a victim of a Scam, Fraud, Cheating ?

Based on my experience and the cases that I have dealt with we can categorize Cheating broadly into two categories.

 

1.       Personal : Matrimonial / Marriage related Frauds, Dating and Romance Scams, Adultery or Extra Marital Affairs, Identity Fraud, Blackmail using your Private Data or Nude Pictures.

 

2.       Financial : Cheated by giving Money to some (either as loan or for some work or business), Real estate Frauds, Internet Scams, Lottery Scams, Employment Scams, Investment and Ponzi Schemes, Online Shopping Scams, Hacking, Credit Card and Banking Frauds, Freelance Assignments and Commission related Frauds, Medical Frauds, COVID related Frauds etc.…

Irrespective of the challenge you have faced and been cheated either in a personal relationship or in a business transaction there are ways to deal with it legally. Here are the steps you need to take.

1.       Speak with your legal advisor and understand the legal complexities, discuss all the possible (If – Then – Else) scenarios and get all your answers, remember you are getting into Litigation and you need to know all possible things that will come your way and the also the approximate cost involved. Finally understand how a complaint should be drafted or should you directly file a suit.

 

2.       Based on the advice from your lawyer, if you decide to go through police and file a complaint, under the guidance of your lawyer draft a strong complaint, ensure you have covered all the points in your complaint and not missed out anything. (Its obvious when you are under stress, there may be some information you may not remember, its ok if there is some info missing and can be later appended, but try as much as possible to remember the dates, names of the people, address, location, etc.… and be as detailed as possible in the complaint.)

 

3.       Visit to the police station as per your jurisdiction by yourself or with your lawyer and file a complaint. Collect the NCR number and follow up to get the FIR done.

 

4.    Once the FIR is done an Investigation Officer will be assigned and will start investigating,

 

a.       If the person against whom you have complained is caught, and you will be informed to visit the police station. If there is an opportunity to compromise and you too wish, the matter can be settled here, your lawyer will do the paperwork and along with the police get the matter resolved. But if you wish that the person should be punished, and the act committed has not only infringed your personal rights but also is a crime against the state the matters proceeds further.

 

b.      If the person against whom you have complained is not caught after all possible efforts and the police too is unable to trace due to lack of identity or you have no whereabouts of the person to be traced, then the matter will be recorded and the person will be classified as ABSCONDING. 

 

Note : As per Article-20(3) of Constitution of India "no person accused of an offence shall be compelled to be a witness against himself." The accused must be presumed innocent until proved. Hence it is your duty to prove the offence which you have given in the written complaint with evidence. In most of the case due to lack of evidence the accused is scot-free, and the victim continues to suffer … the miscarriage of justice …

 

5.       The Charge sheet is prepared as per the investigation and gets filed in the court by the police and a Public Prosecutor is assigned to represent the state while a private lawyer who you have engaged can help representing you and assist the Public Prosecutor. The accused will hire a lawyer who will defend him.

 

6.       If the accused is caught

 

a.       the trail begins in the court of law and goes through various stages starting from Summons, Evidence, Eyewitness, Examination and Cross Examination, Final Augments followed with the judgement and decree. If the judgement is in your favor, then you will file an execution petition and get the reward as per the judgement if not you will have to knock the doors of higher courts.

 

b.      If the accused is not traceable the order will be an Ex-Parte in your favor.

 

7.       The accused may also go for an appeal if convicted and the process continues in the higher courts.

In my experience the suit may run anywhere between 18 to 36 months, and in a span of three years most of the cases get resolved. There is always a provision for out of court settlement and the case gets withdrawn and matter gets quashed.

Essentially, there is an act committed by some person or a group of persons (scamster / fraudster / cheat) with an intention to gain value by manipulating and playing with your emotions. They are professionals and the common man gets duped.

The intention of this blog is to educate the reader that there is always a dawn after the dusk, there is always a ray of hope, there is always help available, there is always guidance and advice available, don’t feel yourself alone, depressed and take any hasty decision because you went through a bad episode of your life.

If this blog helped you do like, share and comment. Feel free to reach me at lawyersonia@gmail.com or +91 9845944896 for advice and or counselling.

 

Covid19 - Legal Remedies for Intimate Partner Violence (Domestic Violence)

Legal Remedies for Intimate Partner Violence (Domestic Violence | 498A | Divorce) 

Domestic Violence today is gender agnostic. What was once considered only women to be victims of such domestic violence today's society has accepted any intimate partner irrespective of gender and orientation can be a victim to domestic abuse. 

A multi country study conducted by UN with available sample size at 90% confidence level shows that 35% of partners have been subjected to domestic violence in some form or other by their intimate partners. 26.4% Men, 43.8% Women and 61.1% LGBTQ community reports intimate partner violence. Women and LGBTQ community has reported a higher percent of sexual and physical abuse while the Men have reported mental abuse and to a greater extent financial abuse. 

One such estimate and the study conducted in 2017 showed 57% women whose death was unnatural like death due to physical assault, accident, suicides, homicides, drowning, falls etc… had an history of intimate partner violence.

Covid19 has brought a situation where people are unable to go outside and locked down. The conflicts between intimate partners have seen raising exponentially, as the quarantine takes effect world wide the intimate partner violence is now become an “intimate terrorism” such is the term used by many experts, lawyers, counselors etc… globally … such grave is the situation today. 

Before we figured out the possible legal remedies to overcome the abuse lets define who is an Intimate Partners and what are the broad categories of intimate partner violence.

Who is an Intimate Partner ?

An intimate partner is a person with whom you have or had a close personal or sexual relationship. Such partner may be heterosexual or homosexual or of any sexual orientation. 

What is Intimate Partner Violence ?

The World Health Organization (WHO) defines intimate partner violence as "any behavior within an intimate relationship that causes physical, psychological or sexual harm to those in the relationship". The WHO also adds controlling behaviors as a form of abuse. 

What are the types of Intimate Partner Violence ?

- Physical Violence : is the intentional use of force with a potential of causing life threatening condition, disability, severe injury, grievous hurt, and the milder forms of physical abuse like scratching; pushing; shoving; throwing; grabbing; biting; choking; shaking; slapping; punching; burning etc.. .

- Psychological Violence : Acts of emotional torture, constraining and restraining someone from performing an act, curtailing the freedom, stalking, nagging, passing comments, taunting, using nonphysical form of violence, using abusive language, humiliating a person, isolation, invading the privacy, unauthorized access to passwords and social media content or private content etc…

- Financial Violence : Acts done by an intimate partner which causes severe financial threats, use of force either physical, or psychological and control another person’s finances against the will, further examples of financial abuse include steeling money or property, financial mischief, intentional fraud, Coercion to sign documents, forcefully taking away money or salary earned, misuse of possessions by intimate partner or his/her family members, control over bank transactions, credit card and debit cards, restraining some one to spend money on his/her parents, restraining one to spend money on his/her will, unpaid bills, unpaid EMIs and forcing the partner to pay, unnecessary subscriptions to various goods / services etc..

- Sexual Violence :  Use of physical force to compel a person to engage in a sexual act against his or her will, sexual violence, unnatural sexual behavior, use of drugs and substance abuse during sexual activity either by will or under coercion, use of derogatory sexual words, forcing to engage in acts of pornography, molestation, passing lewd comments etc… 

What are the Behaviors of people who are subjected to Intimate Partner Violence ?

We live in a society where only one face of a person is seen which he/she is willing the society to know and there exists a hidden life which the world is unaware. Same is the situation with people who are subjected to domestic abuse by intimate partners. 

We will have many friends who surely would have gone through such trauma but appear normal in front of all but suffer in silence, such suffering could be because either they accept that abuse is normal and that’s how the life is, or they may not know how to seek legal remedy. 

Firstly, one needs to identify if that person is suffering violence and you can play a vital role in helping such person by asking him/her if something is wrong, express concern and assurance, offer help and support, listen patiently without deducing inferences or conclusions. While you do so, never try to judge or blame the person. Here are some traits of persons who are subjected to intimate partner abuse …

- Such persons seem extremely anxious to please their partners

- Such persons are also seen visibly afraid of their partners

- They seem to agree with everything their partners tell, although it may not be by their free will

- They call their partners often to report where they are and with whom

- Visible signs of injuries and bruises may be commonly seen, and they may dress to hide them

- These people will be restricted to see the family and friends

- They rarely go out in public and especially they don’t spend money although they are capable of

- They may seek permission from their partners before spending money

- These people although be earning well will have limited or no access to Credit cards, money etc..

- Such persons will carry low self-esteem, you will see them often lost and depressed 

- Typically, an extrovert person will suddenly behave introvert and also carry suicidal tendencies

An observation that should trigger you investigate further or offer support will be when such a person talks about their partner’s jealousy or possessiveness, or even their temper.

What are the legal remedies available for persons subjected to Domestic Violence?

Indian Legal system has various legal remedies that can help the victims of domestic abuse, such laws are gender agnostic and applicable to Men, Women and persons of any gender orientation. 

Some sections in IPC that the abusers can be booked under but not limited to are Section 107, 109, 102A/B, 212, 302, 303, 304, 304B, 306, 307, 314, 323, 325, 341,342, 342, 354, 370, 376, 377, 379, 384, 406, 417, 426, 465, 496, 498, 498a, 500, 506, 511. 

There are many other legal remedies available including DV, Maintenance and Restraining Orders, every individual is unique and ever person who is subjected to abuse has a unique experience, while the sections imposed under law may be common, but the case build up is uncommon. The victim alone knows the challenges he/she has faced and only a learned counsel can understand the situations and draft the legal papers to seek the appropriate remedy. 

Such remedy the victim of intimate partner domestic violence shall receive in the form of compensation and / or punishment of the abuser which can extend from as less as 6 months and depending on the gravity of violence can also be subjected to life imprisonment. In rarest of the rarest cases where a persons modesty is outrages or the intensity of violence is such that has resulted in loss of life a death punishment also can be prayed. 

What should a person or his/her friend / relative parent does if they identify a person is subjected to intimate partner violence ?

- Talk to your friends and keep your near and dear ones appraised about the situation you are in and seek support. 

- Seek help from a Legal Practitioner to initiate the legal proceedings

- Dial emergency / SOS number and seek police intervention 

Very importantly figure out a way to get out of such relationship which is harmful in a long run. Eventually, one fine day the lockdown will end. But as the quarantine drags on, the danger appears likely to deepen. Studies show that abusers are more likely to cause severe life-threatening damage to their partners physically and mentally. 

Such abuse many not necessarily be habitual but also due to  and other variables in the wake of personal crises, including loss of jobs, financial setbacks, and other economic challenges. 

Prevention is better than cure, as you observe any change in behavior of your partner seek counselling in early stages as compared to a legal remedy after the abuse. 

Trust this information is helpful to the reader, feel free to write to me at lawyersonia@gmail.com or call +91 9845944896 and have a discussion. 

As I have mentioned earlier too, every individual is unique and his or her circumstance too is. A one to one discussion will certainly help you adapt to this changed reality and cope with the psychological effects, loneliness, build trust and improve self-esteem.

Help is just a call away … 😊 

Divorce Checklist

Divorce Checklist 

In my decade long experience handling family dispute cases one very important thing I learnt doing is to assist my clients plan and prepare well before filing the divorce lawsuit. 

Every case is unique and has its own merits and challenges, though many a people try to generalize as a spouse conflict or in-laws problem or financial etc… the reality is every individual goes thru a lot of pain emotionally … physically … spiritually … the circumstances are unique and very different, each experience of pain one goes thru cannot be generalized or categorized. Husband / Wife does not simply give up, its only after putting in all possible efforts one takes a very bold step for separation.

While on the death bed of relationship one decides on the divorce, the mind is gone totally blank, he/she is in just give up state, many a times depressed and does not know what to do... more often than not the women simply walk out of their husbands home… the situation worsens when the couple who decide for divorce have children, or financial commitments, debts etc…

Here is a comprehensive checklist I’ve prepared for my readers to assist with if you are considering a separation / divorce; refer this checklist only if you are unable to save the relationship:

1.       Type of Divorce

a.       Mutual Consent : Both of you amicably agree and want to file for divorce

b.      Contested : Only one person in the relationship wants a divorce

c.       Judicial Separation:  a de facto separation while you remaining legally married

2.       Reason for Divorce

a.       Abuse  and Domestic Violence

b.      Unfulfilled Career aspirations

c.       Spouse in a different relationship (Adultery / Bigamy etc…)

d.      Living separately / Desertion

e.      Presumption of death (spouse no longer traceable)

f.        Mentally ill spouse / unsound mind / Schizophrenia

g.       Venereal diseases or life threatening contagious physically incurable disease

h.      Change in religion

i.        Not a law abiding  citizen, criminal, a cruel person who can harm you

j.        Non consummation of marriage / Impotent spouse

k.       Sexual abuse or spouse forces you into unnatural sex

3.       Children (Child Custody)

a.       Custody of the child (if child is less than 5 years the custody will be with mother)

b.      Visitation rights to the other parent

c.       What happens if the child and divorced spouse leave the country

d.      How will the other divorced parent visit the child if in another country

e.      Who will take care of the educational expenses of the child

f.        Will the child live with grandparents of the divorced spouse

g.       How will the child be treated (if stepfather / stepmother situation is involved)

h.      Will the grandparents of the other party (divorced spouse) have visitation rights

i.        How should I prepare my child to accept parents being separated / divorced

j.        Have you thought of a detailed child custody plan and documented

k.       Have you made a list of points you wish to negotiate with your spouse w.r.t children

l.        Are all the documents / certificates / Govt. Ids / Bank Details etc… in your custody

m.    Do you feel, your spouse can emotionally bribe your children for custody

n.      Are you planning to relocate with your child, in that case prepare a relocation plan

o.      Have you considered other pros and cons with respect to child custody

p.      In case you want to remarry, would you continue keeping the child with you

4.       Finances / Money matters

a.       Do you have the list of assets prepared and points of division of assets

                                                               i.     Home / Land and other real estate

                                                             ii.      Bank Accounts Savings / FDs / RDs (Physical and Digital Access details)

                                                            iii.      Insurance Policies

                                                           iv.      Mutual Funds / Stocks / Shares and Bonds

                                                             v.      Debts Payable and current status of loans if any

                                                           vi.      Documents you have signed as Joint Authority

                                                          vii.      Vehicles (Cars / Two Wheelers / etc…)

                                                        viii.      Debts related to Credit Cards / Overdrafts etc…

                                                           ix.      Will / Trust / or any other inheritance

                                                             x.      Jewellery and other precious metals etc…

b.      Has your spouse borrowed money from someone on your behalf

c.      Have you signed any document as a guarantor

d.      Are you on board as a director or carry financial commitment to the business

e.      What liabilities do you carry in case of SIPs and other monthly investments

f.       What liability do you carry towards monthly loans and other recurring debts

g.      What is the alimony amount you have in mind if you want to settle the matter

h.      Have you prepared a draft letter to be sent to all financial authorities for stop payment or for any term / condition that applies (Banks, Insurance, Stock Brokers, Real Estate etc…)

5.       Documentation Readiness : To apply for divorce the following documents are required

a.      Address Proof (Passport, Driving Licence, Rent Agreement, Adhar Card etc…)

b.      ID Proof (Pan Card, Passport, Adhar Card)

c.      Age Proof (10^th Std. Marks Card, Passport)

d.      Marriage Certificate

e.      4 Passport Size Photographs

f.       1 Marriage Photograph (Exchanging garlands or any marriage ceremony photo)

g.      Verifying Affidavit

h.      Divorce Petition Document

i.       Memorandum of understanding  (document your settlement agreement)

j.       Lawyer Nomination and Application

k.      Other Document copies as attachments (Will / G-POA etc…)

l.       Previous complaints / Case Documents / Applications / Counselling outcomes etc…

m.    Salary certificates ( this is handy for maintenance, 1/3^rd of salary is usually claimed)

n.      If working – Get the details of company and previous working companies

o.      In case of evidence : make a note of witnesses who can stand by you

p.      In case of abuse / violence : Doctor and Medical certificates

q.      In case you have used detective services, carry proofs photographs videos etc…

r.       Address details of Parents and Key Relatives (Optional)

6.        Lawyer (Very important – How to choose a lawyer to fight your case)

a.      Word of mouth – check with people you know and their experience

b.      Internet – read the reviews of a lawyer, his/her work, knowledge thru blogs etc..

c.      Consult at least three lawyers and then select the best you are comfortable with

d.      Independent lawyer or a firm

                                                               i.      If Independent lawyer he/she will know all details of your case

                                                             ii.      If a firm there may be multiple lawyers who may work on your case

e.      Check if the same lawyer can represent both in case of mutual consent

f.       Discuss the fees upfront (Lump sum / Per Appearance / %age etc…)

g.      Check the frequency of discussion with your lawyer (Phone / Skype / Chat / F2F)

7.       Other Important Things:

a.      Know your strengths and weakness

b.      Know the strengths and weakness of your spouse

c.      Prepare for the worst on how to face character assassination and other false allegations if your spouse tags you with

d.      Make a list of all things you have done and tell them openly to your advocate

                                                               i.    Verbal or Physical abuse while Quarrelling

                                                             ii.     Threat emails / sms etc…

                                                            iii.     Emotional Blackmail or threat to commit suicide

                                                           iv.      Parental abuse

                                                             v.     Dowry demands etc…

                                                           vi.     Immoral acts, pre / post extra marital relations

                                                          vii.     any other item of interest you wish to discuss

e.      Make a list of people who may stand by you in case of witness required

f.       Ensure you have a medical / fitness certificate (Physically and Mentally fit)

g.      Inform your lawyer if you are dating or plan to marry immediately after divorce

h.      Work with your lawyer and document the points to talk in the court

i.       Mentally prepare yourself with the cross examination points

j.       Ensure your witnesses are prepared well who will testify you

k.      Remember the golden rule – TALK LESS and LISTEN MORE  

This list is general for most of the divorces cases, nonetheless we belong to various cultures, ethnicity, religions, countries, castes and so depending of your type of marriage there will be variation. These are only few guidelines; an expert lawyer will carry additional requirements and guide you when you talk with him/her. You may wish to share your views with me writing into lawyersonia@gmail.com